As a chick and a parent, I’ve said no somewhere in the billions of times. I’m talking about this:
Bugger continues, upping their game and laughing.
“No, stop. I’m serious.”
Bugger kicks it into high and taunts.
I raise my voice, lay hands, force a stop.
Bugger gets feelings hurt and accuses me of overreacting.
Brothers, boyfriends, friends, coworkers, even my dad. It’s been omnipresent in my life.
Never really thought much about it other than to be annoyed. Today, being home sick and bored to tears, I watched a couple of movies. Guess what they both had in common.
Scenario One: The woman tells the man to stop because she doesn’t want to get into the water. He chases her, corners her, forces her over his shoulder before throwing her into the pool. The whole time she’s screaming for him to stop. She’s MAD when she gets out of the water and the man stalks off because he thinks it’s NOT FAIR that she’s angry. She runs after him and apologizes.
Scenario Two: The woman has had a traumatic past that has not been disclosed to the man. He puts on a mask and stalks her around the dark house. The whole time she’s backing up, trying to get away, and screaming for him to stop. When she slams the bathroom door on his hand in an effort to lock herself in, he’s pissed. She apologizes to him and explains her traumatic past as a way to make him understand her reaction.
No means no. All the time. Every time.
No, don’t want to go out with you.
No, I don’t want to be tickled.
No, you can’t have a hug.
No, I don’t like to be scared.
No, I don’t want to have kids.
No, I don’t want to get my extensions wet.
And no I won’t apologize to you for the response your actions wrought.
TL;DR: Stop making this normal. Reject it and don’t fucking apologize for asserting yourself. Thinking men are too fragile to be told no is a Rook mistake. Let them deal with it.