It’s more than a nightmare.
For me it’s total paralysis with open eyes screaming. Sometimes it bolts me awake. Sometimes I don’t quite reach consciousness.
Sometimes it’s the total certainty that someone is standing over me in the dark.
Sometimes it’s a memory replayed in a thousand different ways that I am helpless to change.
An adrenaline dump in the middle of the night can keep me up for hours, or not let me sleep again. Panicked, angry, and frightened, I’ll roam my house trying to talk myself down. “It was just a dream. I’m fine. Everything is fine. I’m OK. Nothing is wrong.” It’s a mantra.
It also upsets the household. Thankfully, my son has always slept like he was in his own personal cocoon. My sig-oth isn’t so lucky. I know it’s a helpless situation for him as well. But there is nothing he can do.
Add guilt to the mix of anger, panic, fear because I’m causing sleep depravation for him, too.
Fuck all that.
This kid , Tyler Skuzacek in Saint Paul, MN, is a freaking genius. He and his team created an app.
It hasn’t made the clinical trials yet, but he’s working with the VA and sleep experts.
It marks the symptoms leading up to the terror and interrupts deep sleep with a vibration to take the sleeper just this side of consciousness without actually waking them.
Sign me up, Tyler.
It’s never hopeless. Someone’s always out there working on ways to make it better. They don’t give up and neither can you. That would be the worst Rook mistake.
I know the pic is sappy af, but this time it fits.
TL;DR: Tyler’s dad came home with PTSD. After watching his dad suffer, he chose to do something about it. There’s an app in the works. Don’t give up. Help is coming.